I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
