That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
where are my eyebrows?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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