Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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