I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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