yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
