My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
