Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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