I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
