I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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