i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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