Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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