happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize