i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
