Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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