Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
