textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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