I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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