I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
