no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
