Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
