There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
