was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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