Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
