he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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