Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
