Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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