i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
