Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize