True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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