forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
