OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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