Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
