I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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