Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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