He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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