did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
