I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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