My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
