Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
