Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They took my balls.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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