After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
