Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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