No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
