people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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