why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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