Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
