we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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