69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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