dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
