Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
