Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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