I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
