Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
