just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
