smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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