I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The adults are the big ones right?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
